Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize