my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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