doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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