you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
