we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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