Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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