I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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