i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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