Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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