Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
pray to the hookup gods
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize
