Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
