sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
