We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
