when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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