can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize