Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You need Xanax blowdarts
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
