Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
