Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
