party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
