Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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