Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
