just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
