I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
