Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
