i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize