Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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