That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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