She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.