I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
