Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS

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  (207): Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS http://tfl.nu/yr3m
  Replies (8) Good night (4313) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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  (908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm
  Replies (63) Good night (1186) Bad night (5321)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.

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  (701): My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying. http://tfl.nu/rpdb
  Replies (32) Good night (7173) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.

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  (703): tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions. http://tfl.nu/m5qp
  Replies (67) Good night (827) Bad night (5789)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...

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  (940): I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night... http://tfl.nu/gxgg
  Replies (10) Good night (6379) Bad night (1235)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  My dream of liquor pitchers came true

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  (772): My dream of liquor pitchers came true http://tfl.nu/bhu0
  Replies (14) Good night (2777) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."

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  (905): He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING." http://tfl.nu/odsi
  Replies (3) Good night (2291) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands

  (845): View more from New York

  i made a dollar

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  (845): Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands (845): i made a dollar http://tfl.nu/0t5e
  Replies (7) Good night (3787) Bad night (1446)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.

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  (785): You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark. http://tfl.nu/p2c2
  Replies (18) Good night (1422) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic

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  (778): the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic http://tfl.nu/wmnz
  Replies (5) Good night (1304) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.

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  (315): you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/5ljo
  Replies (3) Good night (1107) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.

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  (570): My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think. http://tfl.nu/k90n
  Replies (7) Good night (570) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.

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  (250): Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults. http://tfl.nu/wfm3
  Replies (6) Good night (1513) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.

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  (248): There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now. http://tfl.nu/xeuz
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman

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  (630): I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman http://tfl.nu/cwps
  Replies (3) Good night (508) Bad night (461)

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