Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.

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(708): View more from Illinois

its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something

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(408): View more from California

his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(705): View more from Ontario

All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night

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(615): View more from Tennessee

i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."

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(253): View more from Washington

the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug

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