Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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