Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music

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  (202): Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music http://tfl.nu/ve57
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (906)
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  (925): View more from California

  I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker

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  (925): I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker http://tfl.nu/8x3j
  Replies (24) Good night (6236) Bad night (970)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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  (949): Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life http://tfl.nu/meh0
  Replies (12) Good night (4145) Bad night (1004)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.

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  (804): Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses. http://tfl.nu/pr98
  Replies (11) Good night (6705) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly

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  (412): My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly http://tfl.nu/ipod
  Replies (10) Good night (4996) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

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  (443): Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree? http://tfl.nu/odr7
  Replies (10) Good night (3016) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

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  (410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1572) Bad night (1049)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country

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  (443): i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country http://tfl.nu/m3r6
  Replies (7) Good night (2295) Bad night (651)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"

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  (404): This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome" http://tfl.nu/7ky1
  Replies (5) Good night (2820) Bad night (669)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.

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  (619): Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted. http://tfl.nu/mj8h
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.

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  (215): i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none. http://tfl.nu/avo6
  Replies (2) Good night (949) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability

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  (925): I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability http://tfl.nu/3svt
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.

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  (781): Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/7fu0
  Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

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  (850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted
  Replies (1) Good night (1038) Bad night (438)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.

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  (914): Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever. http://tfl.nu/0i96
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (419)

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