i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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