i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
