Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
