Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
do nipples grow back?
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