Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
