If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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