i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
