dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
