Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
