I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
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Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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