sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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