i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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