Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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