I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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