My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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