So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
