Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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