you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
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