i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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