You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
