addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
