I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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