Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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