and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
