I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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